Breaking the Cycle: How Parental Anxiety Affects Children and What You Can Do
Parents often strive to provide the best for their children, working tirelessly to keep them safe, happy, and thriving. But what happens when parental worries and anxieties unintentionally shape children’s world in unintended ways.
Parental anxiety is a common, yet often overlooked, challenge that affects not just the parent, but the entire family dynamic. Children are incredibly perceptive and tend to absorb the emotions around them. When parents consistently exhibit high levels of stress or fear, children may internalize these anxieties, leading to their own struggles with worry, self-doubt, and even avoidance behaviors.
On this week’s episode of the More Than A Therapy Couch podcast, we sit down with Ben Shutman, LPC an experienced mental health therapist to discuss anxious parenting–what it looks like, how it impacts relationships, and what you can do about it.
What is Parental Anxiety?
Parental anxiety refers to excessive worry, fear, or stress related to parenting and a child’s well-being. It can manifest in concerns about a child’s health, safety, academic performance, appearance, social interactions, or future success. While all parents experience worry to some degree, parental anxiety becomes problematic if it is persistent, overwhelming or impacts daily interactions with one’s child.
This anxiety can stem from a variety of places including personal experiences, societal pressures, or even a parent’s own upbringing. Left unaddressed, it can shape a child’s perception of the world and influence their emotional development.
Signs of Anxious Parenting
Recognizing the signs of anxious parenting is an essential part of addressing and managing it effectively. Some common indicators of anxious parenting include:
Overprotectiveness: Constantly worrying about a child’s safety and attempting to control or limit their experiences to prevent harm.
Excessive Reassurance Seeking: Frequently asking others for validation about parenting decisions or a child’s well-being.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries: Struggling to say no or enforce rules due to fear of upsetting the child or making the wrong decision.
Catastrophic Thinking: Assuming the worst-case scenario in everyday situations, such as believing a minor illness will lead to severe health problems.
Avoidance: Steering clear of activities, environments, or experiences that might trigger anxiety, which may also prevent a child from gaining independence.
Difficulty Letting Go: Feeling uneasy about a child’s growing independence and struggling to allow age-appropriate autonomy.
How Does Anxious Parenting Manifest in Adult Children?
Anxious parenting can affect children in a variety of ways including chronic anxiety and stress, difficulty making decisions, low self-confidence, struggles with independence, relationship challenges, avoidance of new experiences and more. Additionally, it can play a significant role in shaping a child’s attachment style, which influences how they form and maintain relationships throughout their lives. The four main attachment styles include:
Secure attachment: When parents provide a healthy balance of support and independence, children develop confidence in relationships and the ability to trust others.
Anxious attachment: Anxious parenting can lead to children becoming overly dependent on others for reassurance, fearing abandonment, or struggling with self-worth.
Avoidant attachment: Children with overly critical or emotionally distant parents may develop avoidant attachment, leading them to suppress emotions and struggle with close relationships.
Disorganized attachment: If a parent’s anxiety is unpredictable or highly distressing, a child may develop a disorganized attachment style struggling with both closeness and trust in relationships.
Understanding attachment styles can help parents reflect on how their own anxieties influence their children’s emotional development and take steps to foster secure and healthy attachments.
When should I see a professional?
You don’t have to navigate parental anxiety alone. If you or a loved one are experiencing mental health challenges that cannot be managed on your own or are interfering with your daily life, it may be time to consult a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychiatric nurse practitioner.
About Tree of Life Counseling Center
At Tree of Life Counseling Center in Princeton, NJ and Freehold, NJ, we have an experienced team of 50+ clinicians to help support you, and your family, through whatever you may be facing. Schedule an appointment today by calling 732-393-8391 or filling out an online form at https://www.treeoflifecc.org/start-today
